A Period of Time in the Life of Baby Sasuke
by XxpwnagexX
Summary: The 'adventures' of Sasuke before his clan was killed. Please R&R! No flames please. Rated just to be safe.
1. Sasuke tries to Make a friend!

**A/N: I got bored. And so I came up with this… and I just _had _to write it. It just seemed so cute! Note, the timeline will be _extremely_ inconsistent. Like, one chapter might be when Sasuke's five and the very next chapter will be when he's one. Also, for story purposes I might have to alter the timeline, like having Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan when Sasuke's like, one or two. Just for story purposes. So if you hate things like inconsistent timelines and things happening when they shouldn't be, I'd suggest reading a fanfic that _doesn't_ have these things. 'Cause I'm not changing it so… too bad for you. But enough about that, let's get on with the important stuff..**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, any characters, etc. Masashi Kishimoto owns them. And I never will. **

**Anyways, enjoy chapter one!**

_Chapter 1: Sasuke (tries to) make a friend!_

"AAANNIIKIII!" a little Sasuke screamed out. It's amazing how a four year old could be louder than a forty year old.

"….What?" Itachi asked, drowsily.

"Will you play with meee!" the little boy asked, with the cutest little puppy dog face.

Itachi looked at the clock. 7:50 AM, it read. Hid brother _had_ to be crazy. Couldn't four year olds wake up at a decent time like everyone else? "It's too early. Let me go back to sleep." he moaned.

"COME ON! PLAY WITH MEEE!" the spiky haired kid shouted. Itachi was struggling to fight the urge to throw Sasuke out the highest window there was.

"Don't you have any friends that could?" he asked, trying to get back to sleep, hoping he'd fall unconscious.

There was a long silence. Sasuke was blushing so hard, that it made the rest of him look paper white, even though that didn't take much effort, because he was already pretty pale.

"You don't, do you?" Itachi continued. Now the upper half of Sasuke's cheeks was fire hydrant red.

It wasn't that no one liked him, he was just very shy. He waited for someone to come over and talk to him, but it just never happened. So basically he spent his recesses at school sitting alone on a swing, which was pretty embarrassing because he was the only preschooler without a single friend. He always relied on his brother, but he just couldn't figure it out that his brother wasn't going to play with him like a toy.

"Uuumm…. no." Sasuke replied, practically whispering the 'no' part.

"Fine, then we're going to find you a friend…. in an hour or two," Itachi said, falling right back to sleep. Sasuke just annoyed everyone else until the time came.

And guess what happened an hour later?

Sasuke ran into Itachi's room and jumped on him screaming "Aniki! Wake up!"

"What!" he said, jolting awake in pain.

"You said you'd find me a fwiend!" he informed, eager to have a playmate his age. **(BTW, the 'fwiend' isn't a typo. I purposely made it that way.)**

"Okay… just hold on. Let me get dressed," Itachi replied.

And so ten or so minutes later, they headed towards the park. "We're going to find Sasuke a friend," Itachi told their mom. "Okay," she replied.

The two boys looked around. It wasn't even nine, so there were very few kids around. But eventually, they spotted Kiba.

"Hi Kiba," Sasuke said as he ran to the boy. He looked kind of freaked out.

"Um… hi?" he replied.

"I like your dog," the Uchiha continued.

"Thanks," Kiba replied.

"I have a pet cat," he said, trying to make conversation.

"I hate cats," the boy replied.

And from that point, Sasuke had absolutely no clue what to do. He didn't ask his brother, because it would be suspicious, and he never saw him have anyone over. After a silent moment, and wondering why Kiba was still there, he decided to cut to the chase.

"Will you be my fwiend?" he asked. He was obviously hoping for a yes, but somehow felt he was going to say no. He waited for the moment to come.

"Why?" Kiba questioned. Sasuke took a breath of relief as he wasn't entirely going to say no _yet_.

"Because I have none and I wanted to know if you'd be my friend." he said.

"But I just met you," the dog lover replied.

"But we go to the same school," Sasuke said, trying to convince the boy. He never knew it was **_this_** hard to make one single friend. No wonder Itachi didn't have any!

"But still…" Kiba said as he walked away from the brothers.

Itachi sighed as they went to find another potential friend. Then Sasuke saw Shikamaru and ran up to him.

"Hi, want to be my fwiend?" he said, panting.

"Fwiends are too troublesome!" Shikamaru replied.

Sasuke was starting to lose hope. But he wouldn't give up yet! He'd try one more time.

As they continued walking around, they found Neji, and Sasuke approached him.

"Hi, will you be my fwiend?" Sasuke asked, practically begging for him to be his friend.

"No." Neji bluntly replied and walked away as soon as he finished his single word.

Sasuke sat on a curb, starting to cry, though it wasn't too obvious because his hands were covering his eyes. "It's no use! I'll never make a fwiend!" he said, practically having an emotional breakdown.

Itachi didn't know what to say. He never had to comfort anyone before. He put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder, saying, "Its okay… you'll make one sometime."

This didn't make Sasuke happy, however. His face was soaked with tears. This caused some people to stare at the two boys, though somehow once they saw Itachi they looked away and continued on with their lives. Then Itachi told Sasuke to get up wand he took the sobbing boy home.

"How did it go? Did you make any new friends?" the Uchihas' mother asked.

"No he didn't," Itachi sighed. Mikoto looked at Sasuke who was still crying. "Why don't you go play with him?" she said.

"Do I _have_ to?" he asked.

"Yes!" she commanded.

And then the brothers went in their humongous backyard and played.

**A/N: I hope you liked it! I thought it was kind of cute. I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've ever written to date. Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	2. Sasuke's Fwiend Part 2!

**A/N: I'm writing another chapter right now really late at night when I could be getting valuable sleep, in which I can cure my cold, because I wanted to continue the other chapter. Yeah, that's right, this is a spur-of-the-moment chapter. Don't worry; the _real_ next thing will be up soon. (Man I really need to stop using italics.)**

**You're in for a surprise when you read this! Or at least, sort of.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything related.**

**For now anyways, enjoy chapter 1 and a half!**

_Chapter 1 and a half: Sasuke's Fwiend Part 2!_

"Mommy I want to go make a new fwiend today!" little baby Sasuke announced.

"Okay, get Itachi to come with you," Mikoto replied.

"ANIKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" the young boy screamed. **(This has nothing to do with it, but the I's kind of looked like the Roman numeral for 3. At least when I was typing this.)**

"WHAT!" Itachi screamed back, not being able to control his anger.

Sasuke sort-of backed away. Itachi calmed down.

"Mommy says to come with me to make a new fwiend!" he said with the cutest, most heart-melting smile on his face. And who could resist that? (Man, I'm going nuts just imagining it.)

"Ugh, fine." the elder brother moaned.

And so the two boys went to the park. Sasuke saw a kid short for his age with blonde spikes. _"He looks kind of sad,"_ four-year-old Sasuke thought.

He ran over to the kid, who was just sitting on the swing with his head down.

"Hi! My name's Sasuke." he said. The blonde boy came back to his senses, and looked kind of surprised that someone was actually talking to him _nicely_.

"Hi… My name's Na'uto," the boy said who was trying his best to pronounce his own name. **(I'm making it so he can't pronounce his R's at all.)**

"Hi! Want to be my fwiend?" Sasuke asked eagerly.

"Su'e!" Naruto replied. Sasuke held his newfound 'fwiend''s hand and dragged him over to his brother.

"'Tachi! 'Tachi! I made a new fwiend!" Sasuke said excitedly.

"That's nice," he replied with a smile on his face. _"Now I'll never have to wake up at 7:30 in the morning to play with him ever again!"_ he thought happily. Ahh… he missed sleep very much.

And the trio ran over to the Uchiha estate.

"Mommy! I made a new fwiend!" Sasuke announced to his mom happily.

"That's nice. What's his name?"

"Na'uto!" the blonde stated.

"Okay. Now you two go run off and play," she said, returning to doing dirty dishes.

"What do you wanna play?" Sasuke asked Naruto.

"I dunno," he replied.

"Wanna play annoy 'Tachi?" he asked.

"How do you play?" Naruto asked.

"It's easy. You go up to 'Tachi and annoy him," Sasuke explained.

"Who's 'Tachi?" the blonde questioned.

"My aniki. You saw him earlier," Sasuke informed.

And so the two friends ran off to play their little game.

**A/N: Well, that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it. Please R&R! Now I'm off to get some sleep.**

**That's all for now!**


	3. No Sasuke, this is how you do it!

**A/N: Ahh… sleep is good. Now I can write more. By the way, thanks for all the reviews and whatnot. **

**Oh yeah, and this chapter's timeline is going to be very inconsistent. You've been warned.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, etc., etc., etc.**

**Now enjoy chapter 2!**

_Chapter 2: No Sasuke, **this** is how you do it!_

Our favorite little 6-year-old was outside with his brother, our least favorite 11-year-old, Itachi. Anyways, Sasuke wanted to try to throw a shuriken. And so Itachi let him. He tossed the star up in the air, and it would've landed right on his head if it weren't for Itachi moving his little brother out of the way.

"No Sasuke, **this** is how you do it," the older of the two said, as he demonstrated how to throw it. It hit the target perfectly.

And so he tried his brother's way and it just barely hit the target. But hey, barely hitting the target is better than perfectly hitting your head. Which would hurt really badly.

_-Back inside-_

The Uchihas' mom was making stuffing for Thanksgiving. Sasuke wanted to help, and so he was all, "Mommy can I help?"

"Sure," she said, and handed him a big pot and several loaves of bread. Sasuke began to violently rip them up in half, putting them in the pot.

"No Sasuke, **this** is how you do it," she said, tearing a slice of bread into small/medium pieces, putting them in.

And Sasuke tried that, putting the sloppily ripped pieces in the pot. And here's another funny thing, the pot was so big, Sasuke had to stand up on a chair to do this.

_-And back outside again-_

The two Uchiha brothers were climbing trees. No, not the way where you draw chakra to your feet, just the regular way. You know, with your hands.

Anyways, this was Sasuke's first time climbing up a tree, so he assumed that it would be like rock climbing. He dug his hands into the jagged parts of the tree and walked up. He moved a little. He tried this again but fell down. In fact, if it weren't for Itachi running to catch him, he would've fell flat on his face.

"No Sasuke, **this** is how you do it," he said as he began to climb up a tree the proper way. **(I don't know how to do it because I've never climbed a tree before.)**

_-And yet back inside. Again!-_

Sasuke was going to draw a picture of his brother, who was in the same room as him. He drew a circle for a head, and his brother saw it.

"No Sasuke, **this** is how you do it," he said, proceeding to draw an oval shape.

Sasuke was extremely annoyed with people telling him how to do this, how to do that, etc. He released a burst of anger. "I GET THE POINT! NOW WILL YOU **PLEASE** STOP BEING ALL 'NO SASUKE, THIS IS HOW YOU DO THIS, THIS IS HOW YOU DO THAT'!" He then coughed and took a drink. Then he sighed and ran up to his room.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Poor Sasuke. Please R&R! **

**Well, that's all for now!**


	4. I Wanna Cookie!

**A/N: I'm bored, so I'm writing another chapter. I have nothing else to say but that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the related.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 3!**

_Chapter 3: I Wanna Cookie!_

It was somewhat early in the morning, about 8:45 to be exact, and Mikoto was baking cookies. As all older kids, Itachi was obviously sleeping and not going to stop for a while, but Sasuke was a different story. He _loved_ waking up early. Sometimes he'd literally wake up before the crack of dawn. At like, not even 5 AM.

Anyways, Sasuke ran down the stairs. He smelt cookies. "Mommy, I wanna cookie!" little 5-year-old Sasuke said. **(Notice how he only addressed his mom as 'mommy' in every chapter so far. Just pointing that out.) **

"They're not done yet," Mikoto informed as she continued to mix that delicious thing known as cookie dough. "But I wanna cookie!" the small boy shouted. "Well, then you're going to have to wait," his mom said.

Sasuke eyed the spoon mixing the huge blob of dough. "Ooh! Can I lick the spoon?" he asked. "One second," she said, finishing mixing the dough, and then handing the spoon to Sasuke.

And guess what? Here's where the plot comes in. Now, you see, Sasuke kind of gets in this 'thing' when he has sugar or some type of candy or sweet that when he has some of it, he **has** to have more. "More!" he shouted, waiting for that delicious cookie dough.

"There's no more," Mikoto said, putting the mixing bowl and spoon aside in the sink, and putting the raw cookies in the oven. "You'll have to wait," she continued.

Sasuke was impatient. But he hung in there! He waited, and waited, and waited, oh I could go on all day but you get the point, don't you? If not, then too bad for you.

And eventually, the cookies were **_finally_** done. Sasuke grabbed a cookie the instant his mother said he could. And eventually he ate the entire plate and got a really bad stomachache. Poor Sasuke, but at least it isn't as bad as you'd get after eating half a bottle of chocolate syrup straight from the bottle.

And then Sasuke learned his lesson.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. It was kinda short, though. But eh, who cares? Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now.**


	5. When Itachi Babysits

**A/N: Man, it took awhile to update. Sorry, I was busy working on my other story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, etc.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 4! **

_Chapter 4: When Itachi Baby-sits…_

"Itachi, can you please baby-sit Sasuke? We're going on a vacation over the weekend," Mikoto asked.

"Mom, do I have to? I have plans for the weekend," her son whined.

"Yes and your plans are to watch Sasuke," she replied.

Later, once the Uchiha brothers' parents left, Itachi walked up to Sasuke's room.

"Hey, Mom says I have to baby-sit you while Dad and she are on a vacation over the weekend," he informed.

A gleam of happiness aroused in Sasuke's eyes, along with the cutest smile. He _loved_ it when Itachi babysat.

"So I want you to behave," Itachi continued. His brother nodded.

_-A period of time later-_

"'Tachi! 'Tachi! Wanna play with me?" a certain little kid asked.

"Can't you go play with your friend?" the older one questioned.

"Na'uto told me that he was gonna be away for the weekend!" Sasuke complained.

"Ugh, fine! What do you want to do?" Itachi questioned.

"Go to the park!" his little brother shouted.

And the two set off for the park. Unfortunately, the park was a good distance away and Sasuke got tired, so Itachi had to carry him by piggy-back, which wasn't too fun.

After awhile, Sasuke asked what his brother wanted to do next. His reply was, "Go to sleep." and it turned out like that.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Ahh, the return of 'Na'uto'! Man, I think I'm gonna write a one-shot on him, and how (I'm making it so) he can't pronounce his R's. Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	6. I don't think he's ready for this

**A/N: Sorry it's been awhile since I updated. I got really bad writers' block. And I still have some of it, but I was able to think of this feeble think I'm not sure whether or not is worthy of calling a chapter. But still, it counts as one.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke wouldn't come back to Konoha wearing oversized rubber.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 5!**

_Chapter 5: I'm not sure if he's ready for this…_

Itachi just got Mangekyou Sharingan. But no, he wasn't going to kill his entire clan less than 24 hours later. Because in this chapter, Sasuke's three, not eight, Itachi is. And guess what? Sasuke just started wearing actual underwear, not diapers, thank god. (I can tell you from experience that the last thing you'd ever want to smell is a dirty diaper.) Anyways, Itachi didn't know that the entire reason he got this was from killing his closest friend; he just thought he randomly got it. So he was going to attempt to teach it to Sasuke.

So the two Uchiha brothers set off to the dock leading to their lake. "So what do I do?" Sasuke inquired. Itachi had no clue what he was doing, so he just guessed.

"Umm…. close your eyes and concentrate **_really_** hard," he said. Sasuke did just so. But he concentrated a little too hard, and guess what happened next? He crapped in his pants.

Mikoto was watching the two boys, as she was cooking a nice, fancy dinner for that evening. _"Maybe he's not ready for this,"_ she thought as she began to contemplate whether or not to put Sasuke back on diapers, or keep him on underwear. Eventually, she decided to put him on diapers, just for another month or so.

Eventually, the two siblings went inside their glorious mansion. Sasuke ran up to his mom explaining everything that happened, and Mikoto took of his tighty-whiteys and put him in a diaper, which Sasuke wore without question. Unfortunately for Mikoto, this means another month or so of extra work and garbage. Not to mention odor, **_never_** forget the odor. Mikoto had to spray an extraordinary amount of Febreeze and other various air fresheners to get the giant house rid of the 'crap smell'. But at least it was only for another month.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I thought it was pretty funny. Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	7. Why Sasuke and cherryrelated don't mix!

**A/N: Finally, I updated, because someone wanted me to have a chapter for this. Yay for motivation. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, etc., etc., etc.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy chapter 6!**

_Chapter 6: Why Sasuke Hates All Things Cherry-Related_

Sasuke was at the park, peacefully swinging on the swing set, with his brother, Itachi. Unfortunately for him, two girls spotted him. Their names were Sakura and Ino, the two most annoying people to ever walk the face of the earth. They ran up to him. "Hi Sasuke!" the pink-haired one and the blonde exclaimed in unison.

Sasuke had a nervous look on his face. _"Not **more **fangirls,"_ he thought. "Umm, hi, what are your names?" he asked.

"Sakura!" "Ino!" they both said, once again in unison, attempting to get Sasuke to only notice them, and not the other person. Thank god, right at the spur of the moment, Ino's mom called her over to go home. Then it was just Sasuke and Sakura.

"Hi, I'm Sakura!" the girl said. "So I've heard," our favorite little 7-year-old ninja said, in a tone where anyone with a decent amount of intelligence could tell he was annoyed and wanted to be left alone. Meaning, Sakura didn't, and kept on bothering the poor guy.

"Want to come over some time?" Sakura asked. Sasuke bluntly replied, "No."

Tears were starting to form in Sakura's eyes, but she quickly wiped them away.

_-The next day-_

Sasuke and Itachi were in their usual spot at the park again, when Sakura walked up to them. "I brought you something," she said as she held a box towards Sasuke.

Fortunately for Sakura, Sasuke _loved_ receiving free stuff. He tore open the wrapping paper in the most violent way possible (Sounds like Itachi, doesn't it?), opened the box, but his joy faded as he noticed it was a **pink**sweater, with 'I love Sakura' embroidered on the back in dark blue stitches.

"Thanks," he said coldly as he put the sweater in the box. Sakura walked off towards Ino. _"Thank god,"_ Sasuke thought, as he put the box on the ground towards Itachi.

_-Later that day-_

Sasuke and his family were at the ice cream shop, when it was Sasuke's turn to order. "I want a sundae with chocolate ice cream and no cherry," he said.

"But Sasuke, the cherries are your favorite part!" Mikoto pointed out, confused why her son wouldn't want his favorite part of a sundae.

"Not anymore!" he exclaimed.

**A/N: Well, I hoped you enjoyed it! I thought it was pretty funny. Anyways, please R&R! **

**That's all for now!**


	8. Random Being picked up ness interlude

**A/N: Hi everyone, sorry about the wait, I couldn't think of anything! Also, I was having problems uploading.And this was the best I could think of, and since I thought of it while reading chibi-fics, I give half of the credit whose main plot is Sasuke turning chibi. (-cough-OMGSOKAWAII!-cough-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, etc.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 8!**

_Chapter 8: Random-Being-picked-up-ness_

It was some time around 6 AM when a little 3-year-old Sasuke stomped to his elder brother's room and pounced on him.

"WHAT?" Itachi shrieked in pain. Sasuke quickly jumped off the comfortable bed and jumped up with his hands in the air. Itachi's facial reaction was something like this: o.0.

"EEEEHHH EEEH EEHH!" the younger one moaned as he tried to get picked up.

"No," was Itachi's blunt reply.

Unfortunately for him, Mikoto was up around now, as usual (for her).

"Moooommmmyyy, 'Tachi-nii-san won't hold me!" Sasuke said, making the same motions as when he woke up Itachi.

Mikoto then picked up her child and held him like a baby. Sasuke's reaction was, "NO, I WANT ANIKIIIII!"

"ITAAAAAACHIIII!" the female Uchiha called out, extremely loudly so it was a guarantee the genin would hear.

"WHAT NOW?" was heard promptly afterwards.

"Come hold Sasuke!"

"Why?"

"Because he wants to be held by you!"

"Can't you hold him?"

"I am, he wants you!"

"UGGH… FINE!" Itachi said angrily, wanting his precious sleep that he's barely gotten since 3 years ago.

Once the 8-year-old arrived downstairs in the kitchen where everyone else except his dad was, Sasuke squirmed out of his mother's arms, motioning towards Itachi. He made an angry grunt as he began to hold his younger brother.

Sasuke made the cutest little smile while rubbing his face against his brother's shirt, as my cat does with a chair leg.

**A/N: Sorry it was really short, but that was the best I could do, and it was cute anyways! Wasn't it? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	9. Supermarket Adventure!

**A/N: Hi, I'm updating again… so yeah. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Well, enjoy chapter 9!**

_Chapter 9: Supermarket Adventures!_

Mikoto, Itachi, and Sasuke were all going shopping. (Mikoto decided that Sasuke was old enough to walk on his own without sitting in the cart.)

Anyways, after about half an hour of walking, Sasuke got tired, and was slowing down, insisting that Itachi pick him up and carry him.

"Aniki! I'm tired."

"So?"

"Pick me up!"

"No."

"But my feet huuuurrrt!"

"Then go in the seat."

"But I want you to pick me uuu-uup!"

"UGH… fine!" Itachi exclaimed in a tone of extreme annoyance. This was followed by Sasuke being carried piggyback via the said annoyed person.

But hey, at least Itachi was rewarded by a cute smile (that I want to glomp, that's how cute it is), and a silent younger brother for the rest of the trip.

Afterwards, they put Sasuke in a little red wagon with toilet paper and various other products. "Here are your new friends, T and P," Itachi lied, trying to keep is brother amused in preparation for future annoyances (A.K.A. Sasuke getting bored), as he took a permanent marker out of nowhere and drew a smiley face on them.

"I don't like them!" was Sasuke's reaction.

"Now, now, be nice to your new friends," Mikoto said, playing along, "They're soft, you'll appreciate it."

"They may be soft on the outside, but on the inside they have a heart of gold!" Itachi joked. Sasuke giggled.

After awhile, the top of the two toilet paper roles slid towards the boy. "Mommy, 'Tachi, T is getting too close!" he shouted. Itachi attempted to suppress a fit of laughter, but it clearly failed. Mikoto soon joined in.

Unfortunately for the three relatives, the weather decided it would be fun to have an extremely heavy downpour that particular moment.

Lucky Sasuke, he held "T" over his head, using it as an umbrella. Itachi reached for "P" but was stopped by a certain 5-year-old saying "No! P's **my** fwiend", scooting his body so the toilet paper was at the end and his body was pushing "P" with as much force as Sasuke could muster.

Itachi squatted down, still walking so his ear was against the toilet paper role. "What's that, P? You want Sasuke to let me borrow you?"

"Okay, P!" Sasuke said as he dropped "T" and handed him the other package. The two boys held them over their heads.

Anyways, guess what happened the second they arrived at the Uchiha Estate?

The rain stopped and it cleared up, becoming a beautiful, sunny day again.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Who knew Itachi could joke once? Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	10. So you're reading an untitled chapter?

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've been either too lazy or too busy. Oh and if you live in the US, I hope you had a great Independence Day!  
**

**Oh, and Jabba suggested this chapter, so I'll give four sixths of the credit to her.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; otherwise I'd just use Masashi Kishimoto as my pen name.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy chapter 10!**

_Chapter 10: So you're reading an untitled chapter, eh?_

There comes those times that happen some time after you go grocery shopping: you have only one more thing of your favorite food.

Unfortunately, that time has risen upon the Uchiha household. There's only one last stick of Pocky. This was the favorite food of Sasuke and Itachi. They loved it so much that they could kill. However, the statement "They loved it so much that they could kill" is not to be underestimated. That's _literally_ how much they loved it; they'd actually kill.

And just when a little 7 year old Sasuke was about to grab the last stick of Pocky—

"Hey! That's **my** Pocky!"

"No, it's all of ours! I just happened to get it first."

"Age before beauty."

"It's a good thing you said that, because if it was beauty before age you would've lost horribly!"

"Well you're so ugly you made a blind man cry!"

And that's when Itachi unmistakably touched a soft spot on Sasuke. **(Not that way, perverts.)**

Sasuke broke down in tears. Everyone always said he was cute; no one had ever called him ugly before. Itachi bent down to apologize but the younger of the two pushed him away. In reaction to this, he flicked his brother on the back of the head.

This was promptly followed by a:

"MOMMY!"

Sasuke ran upstairs towards his mom afterwards.

"What, Sasuke?"

"A-aniki c-c-called me ugly! And, and, he flicked me in the back of the head!" Sasuke was **_still_** rubbing where his brother caused him pain.

Mikoto then called Itachi and lectured him. A smile spread across Sasuke's face as he watched this.

"You know better than to call your brother names and hurt him!"

"But I didn't call him "Names"! I called him ugly."

"You don't go being a smart aleck to your mother, young man! You're grounded! Now go apologize to Sasuke and let him have the last stick of Pocky for that!"

And the two brothers ran downstairs. Sasuke slowly ate the last stick of Pocky in front of Itachi, grinning.

_"I'll show them, I'll show them all! And then when I kill them all they'll all wish they let me have the last stick of Pocky!"_

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it; please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


	11. Holy Crap!

**A/N: Wow! It's seriously been a reeeallly long time since I've updated this story. Over a month, actually. Just wow. And I apologize for that. I've been busy, and I have outrageously bad writer's block, so any and all ideas are appreciated! Please, for the sake of the story, send in those ideas! You get your name mentioned in the beginning author's note, and how cool is that? Pretty cool, I tell you! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… **

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 11!**

_Chapter 11: Holy Crap! (Pun intended.)_

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Itachi shouted.

"What is it?"

"Sasuke just crapped himself again!" **(Oh and btw, he's 1 in this chapter, but I'm making Itachi 9… just in this chapter though, sorry!)**

"Well, then change his diaper!"

"But he crapped **A LOT**! I'll get baby crap all over me! OH MY GOD THERE'S SO MUCH! IT'S COMING OUT OF HIS DIAPER!" Sasuke smiled and giggled.

"They make hand soap for a reason, Itachi!" Mikoto yelled from the floor below.

"But there's so much-- MOM SASUKE'S COVERED IN IT!" The crap was oozing out of the bottom AND the top of his diaper, there was so much of it. **(I know that can't really happen, but hey, this story doesn't take place in the _real_ world.)**

"WELL HURRY UP AND CLEAN HIM! I HAVE TO GO DO THE LAUNDRY!"

Itachi glared at his baby brother. Sasuke stuck out his tongue at him, and smiled.

After half an hour of Itachi cleaning up his brother's crap (he kept crapping on Itachi while he was trying to change him), and trying to change his diaper, Sasuke was finally clean.

The elder of the two Uchiha brothers stormed downstairs to the laundry room. "I HOPE YOUR HAPPY NOW, MOM!" Mikoto turned to find Itachi covered in baby crap from head to toe.

"Holy crap! Itachi, you need to go take a bath!"

"I KNOW, I JUST WANTED TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU JUST GOT ME IN TO!" Itachi screamed. This was promptly followed by Sasuke screaming and crying.

He already knew what Mikoto was going to make him do. He ran up the stairs, to go calm Sasuke down. After doing this, he took a shower. As he went downstairs, he smelt a very foul stench. And guess what happened? Sasuke crapped again.

And the moral of this chapter is: Sasuke crapped a lot as a baby. Though it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Again, I apologize for taking outrageously long to update. Anyways, please R&R! **

**That's all for now!**


	12. A Day in the Life of the Uchiha Kids

**A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like forever! I've been busy with school and on top of that, I've just had severely bad writers block. And I still do have very bad writers' block, so any suggestions will be appreciated and it's almost guarantee I will use them. Really this is like a filler chapter… but not exactly. It counts as a regular chapter, and right now I'm trying my best. (Please note I am writing this with severe writers block.) So anyways, this is to let you know "I'm still alive and everything's okay but I just have really bad writer's block but I'm writing this chapter anyways since the lack of update is pretty disappointing and so is the lack of review alerts in my inbox." Please, oh pretty please review! It'll motivate me! Also please note that the lack of update was NOT a hiatus, it was just a school-just-started-and-i-had-writers'-block-so-I-didn't-have-a-chance-to-write period. I SWEAR I will NEVER go on a hiatus or discontinue a story.**

**Oh, and to all you Naruto Characters Say the Darndest Things fans, I'll try to update that ASAP. I was just re-reading it; it brought back some very good (and funny) memories.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and whoever else helps make it that I'm probably not aware of.**

**Anyways, enjoy chapter 11! (I've been messing up with the numbering because of the half-chapter, sorry!)**

_Chapter 11: A Day in the Life of the Uchiha Kids (interlude chapter)_

You'd think that a day in the life of the Uchiha kids was pretty boring. But with Sasuke as one of the Uchiha kids, you were wrong. Let's start with the very first important part of the day: getting up. **(Oh and before I forget, they are 4 and 9 in this chapter)**

The clock in Sasuke's bedroom flashed 7:15 AM. Two ebony eyes opened widely, and the child to whom those eyes belonged to yawned.

Sasuke loudly ran down the hall to his older brother's bedroom, and quietly opened the door. He then sprinted to the bed, and right before he crashed into it, he pounced on Itachi.

"WHAT!" he screamed, immediately waking up to the pain of 45-50 pounds of Sasuke.

"Wake up and play with me!"

"Can't you wait like two hours and let me sleep to a decent extent?"

"Huh?"

"Let me sleep!"

"No! I want you to play with me!"

"I'll play with you later today when I'm NOT tired!"

"No! You'll play with me NOW!"

"No, I'll play with you later!" Itachi wanted sleep so much, that he actually got out of bed, scooped up Sasuke, set him some distance outside his room, and quickly closed the door.

Sasuke ran to his parents' room and nudged his mom awake.

"Mommy! Mommy! 'Tachi won't play with me!" said Sasuke, still nudging Mikoto. She drowsily followed Sasuke to Itachi's bedroom and knocked on the door.

No answer.

Mikoto assumed Itachi went back to sleep. She knocked slightly louder and called his name. "What?" the 9 year old said, sleepily.

"Come play with Sasuke!"

"Can't he wait awhile?"

"No! Now, Itachi!"

The elder of the two Uchihas got out of bed, washed his face, brushed his teeth and hair, and quickly got dressed. Sasuke got dressed and Itachi helped him do his hair. (Mikoto made him.)

They then went to play in the backyard until dinner.

After dinner, Sasuke would watch and admire Itachi train in amazement. In the process, Sasuke would fall asleep.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! I know it wasn't too good, but this was the best I could do so I don't need reviews/PMs telling me so! It was actually kinda long considering I wrote it. (I've never been the type to write an extremely long fanfiction chapter.) Anyways, please R&R!**

**That's all for now!**


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